Ep 169: Moving forward through grief

In this episode, Marta alongside with a guest co-host Signe, receives two vulnerable testimonies from mothers moving through their child-related traumas. While Anna finally feels ready to open up to the world to reveal the story of baby Gaby’s traumatic birth, Fatema courageously unlocks her heart to share the story of her baby Kyler passing away just a few hours after he was born. Fatema in her humble, graceful and deeply vulnerable way tells us how she manages to move through the unbearable tragedy of losing your own child.

About Fatema

Fatema is a  beautiful and inspiring woman with one of a kind presence. Despite the tragedy she is still moving through, she emanates love and grace. In her every-day life, she’s an artist, working as a Senior Art Director at Lego, married to another quite amazing human, her husband Arun.

Our (undescribable) Conversation:

• Anna, who couldn’t be at the studio personally, in a recording, shares the story of Gabi’s birth and how it has changed her and her life

• Fatema shares the story of Kyler coming to life and soon after passing away

• Fatema puts words into the unbearable pain, shock and state that can’t really be described in words

• Fatema explains how her mind and her body attempt to cope with the trauma

• Signe shares her beautiful and deeply touching poem

• Fatema shares how the grief evolves with time and that it is not a linear process

• Fatema shares some of her fears of baby Kyler being forgotten and how she decides to honour his presence in her life

• We speak about the father’s grief and how we can sometimes forget that fathers feel the pain just as deeply

• Signe tells us about a beautiful concept of Kintsugi, which literally means to join with gold; to highlight the cracks instead of hiding them. It can also be an approach for life; a philosophy.

How to get in contact with Fatema

If you're a parent moving through grief you can contact her by Messenger: Fatema Barot

Fatema's LinkedIn

Signe & her beautiful Poem

Signe’s Instagram

“On Water & Grief”

grief has a way of bringing you to your knees

Again and again 

Without warning

A wave crashing in

Cracks your heart open

Like sand exposed

By the gentle touch of the aftermath 

Of silent waves that comes 

after,

The tsunami

Leaves you open,

Raw, cleansed

Completely surrendered

And it whispers in your ear;

Look at you,

Look at you

How beautiful you have become 

See, 

How you survived yet another wave

sharp edges on rocks

Water made you soft,

Made you gentle

Water from your tears

Streaming through your body

All the way down

to your feet

And back again

Passing through trauma of your ovaries

your place of birth, life, creativity

Your womb

Passes right through the four chambers

in speed of lightning

Up through your throat 

Cleanses, 

speaks the truth

Until it lands on your eyelashes

With thousands more to come

That water is heaven made, holy

And it flows into the Sea of Women 

coming before you

to you

and through you

Bring them to the Sea

And show them

softness,

Rawness and wilderness 

Show them the beauty of everything

we keep underneath

Because as above

So below

What you keep hidden

Will come to surface

The beauty of your shadow will always emerge

Will always seek the truth within you

light will always penetrate you

Like water making its way through mountains

One drop at a time

So I dare you,

Darling,

Be the fountain for the water to pour through 

Dive in,

Dive in deep

I will hold you when you weep

And listen,

Yes, I will listen 

When you are ready to speak